The Silver Lining by Hollye Jacobs, RN, MS, MSW, photographs by Elizabeth Messina
The Silver Lining is available from Amazon.com, Simon and Schuster
and Barnes and Noble
photography Elizabeth Messina
Photographer Elizabeth Messina and author Hollye Jacobs
Hollye and I were working on a project together and I was standing at her kitchen sink when she told me they had found multiple tumors during her first mammogram at age 39. I remember feeling instantly sick to my stomach. I had just had another friend who had fibroid tumors that weren't cancerous and were linked to the caffeine in coffee. I tried so hard to believe that Hollye's tumors would be "nothing" too. That they would just go away. I tried so hard not to cry at her kitchen sink. In the end, the worst was true and she ended up with one of the most severe forms of breast cancer and endured a double mastectomy, chemo, radiation and every possible side effect you could get.
She began her blog, The Silver Pen, so her friends and family would know what was happening with her without having to call and have her repeat updates or send numerous emails. What happened as a result was that she ended up helping strangers all over the country and world who were also dealing with FBC (F-Bomb Breast Cancer.) It ended up becoming an award-winning blog that included not only humor and comfort but also necessary medical information that she was able to share because of her background being a nurse. The book has both "Lifelines" (information Hollye wished she knew ahead of time and helpful hints that helped her) and "Practical Matter's" (which is everything a person needs to know to get through the experience, including what to pack to take to the hospital, how to talk to children, how to get more sleep and reduce stress and how to be a friend to someone who has cancer.)
Two months ago I found a lump on my own breast. I immediately went to the doctor and had a mammogram and ultrasound the next day. They determined that the spots were "complicated" and that I had to have a biopsy to definitively rule out breast cancer. On the day of my biopsy I woke up in tears and full of fear. I realized I had NO IDEA what was going to happen to me that day. Were they going to cut me with a knife, was it going to hurt. I truly didn't know what was going to happen. I texted Hollye and she calmly explained what was going to happen: First a long needle with lidocaine for pain, then a second needle. Suddenly the knowledge of what was going to happen reduced the fear. Thankfully, my situation, unlike Hollye's and many others did turn out to be nothing. But it did show me the value and need for her blog and the book. "So much of the fear of this surgical and oncological world comes from the unknown. This is really the fundamental reason that I wrote the book: to give people the support and information to help them through tests, treatment and recovery." Here is the complete post on what to expect during a breast biopsy http://www.thesilverpen.com/breast-cancer-information-facts/breast-cancer-diagnosis/what-to-expect-at-a-breast-biopsy/ I realize that I'm blessed that I am her friend and could ask her questions during my time of fear, but you actually can too. Hollye will answer questions to anyone who asks and you can reach her via email hollye@thesilverpen.com or ask her a question on her blog, www.thesilver.pen or on Facebook under The Silver Pen.
There is nothing beautiful about getting breast cancer yet this book is beautiful. It's the first beautiful gift you can give someone who is just diagnosed, that they will want to read and hold. The same way a warm soft blanket can give you comfort. As Hollye wrote in her own words: "The thing about Silver Linings is that they don't take away things like nausea, constipation or anxiety that can come with a cancer diagnosis and treatment, but they do provide a glimmer of hope to get you from one moment to the next. What I know for sure about Silver Linings is that they are always there. All one has to do is look for them."
Ironically, photographer Elizabeth Messina went through her own medical nightmare when her son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. I remember Hollye saying the only thing worse than having cancer herself would be if it were her daughter who was diagnosed instead. The pain of watching your child endure pain is unbearable. What is extraordinary to me is that both women have faced their darkest fears and created something beautiful from their pain and experience. Something that is a gift to all of us.
Ironically, photographer Elizabeth Messina went through her own medical nightmare when her son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. I remember Hollye saying the only thing worse than having cancer herself would be if it were her daughter who was diagnosed instead. The pain of watching your child endure pain is unbearable. What is extraordinary to me is that both women have faced their darkest fears and created something beautiful from their pain and experience. Something that is a gift to all of us.
Hollye on Dr. Phil
An excerpt from Hollye's article featured on The Huffington Post:
"As a healthy, happy, 39-year-old mother with no family history of breast cancer, being diagnosed with the disease in 2010 shattered my world.
As a nurse, social worker and child development specialist with experience in an intensive care unit and both adult and pediatric hospice, I found myself in the unique position of moving from the side of the bed as a health care professional into the hospital bed as a patient. I had been trained to heal. When I became a patient, the healing process became very personal.
Shortly after my diagnosis, I looked for a guide and companion that would support and inform me, my family and friends throughout the cancer experience. I was looking for something that was simultaneously informative and hopeful, realistic and supportive, clinically credible and visually beautiful. That book simply did not exist, so I created it, along with my dear friend and award-winning photographer, Elizabeth Messina.
The Silver Lining is my intimate experience with breast cancer written through the lens of my professional, clinical experiences in health care.
Each chapter is divided into two sections. The first half is my story with "Lifelines" inserted throughout. These Lifelines are the things that I wish I had known and helpful hints for what helped me.
The second half of each chapter is called "Practical Matters," because when you have breast cancer, the practical really does matter. In this section I offer practical, accessible and relatable lists of everything that a person needs to know to get through the experience, including what to pack to take to the hospital, how to talk with children, how to get more sleep and reduce stress and how to be a friend to someone who has cancer, to name a few.
Looking for and finding Silver Linings was essential to my well-being during treatment. They buoyed me and kept my spirits hopeful from the time of my diagnosis throughout my double mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation and recovery. Silver Linings gave me the balance and perspective to get me through the darkest of days. The thing about Silver Linings is that they don't take away things like nausea, constipation or anxiety that can come with a cancer diagnosis and treatment, but they do provide a glimmer of hope to get you from one moment to the next. What I know for sure about Silver Linings is that they are always there. All one has to do is look for them.
The ultimate Silver Lining of my breast cancer diagnosis, treatment and recovery is to try to make it better for those who have to follow me down this difficult path. This is why I am sharing my story, through my voice and words and Elizabeth's vision and photography.
From the perspective as both a nurse and patient, I am the experienced girlfriend who wants to help shed some light on the darkness, bring order to the chaos and hold your hand throughout your experience." by Hollye Jacobs
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